When I first looked at the assigned reading for this week, I felt as if it was full of things I already knew. I’ve done various forms of reflection through writing before, and I assumed that this would be a simple continuation of that. In class, when we discussed the written examples, I realized that I was wrong. I noticed so much more nuance between the different levels to which you can reflect, and I thought that mine wasn’t at the depth it should have been. It was strange to feel like I was so wrong on something so seemingly simple. Thinking back on my past reflections for the class, I felt worried that I wouldn’t be able to take my writing from that level to the one it should be on.
I think my thought process, going into these assignments, is formed mostly by the concept of them having to be so strictly ‘academic’. In other classes I’ve taken, all the so-called ‘reflection’ papers deal with our carefully edited reactions to a piece of coursework. In those situations, I know I need to sound a certain way in order to get a certain grade, which I now think has stopped me from always reflecting in an honest manner.
However, I feel like I’ve been successful in reflection through writing outside of the classroom setting. I’ve kept journals in the past, and they were a way to write down any kind of thoughts without the pressure of a professor’s assessment. I now think that this class is different from others I’ve been in, and in order to engage in the way I should I will have to let myself be more open and less stressed about if I have the correct interpretation of a reading.
Looking back now at my reflection for last week, I notice the times I wrote generally about ideas I believe, rather than mentioning my specific reactions to the learning process of that week. Going forward now, I want to use this realization to drive the writing process of my reflections. I worry about not always being successful, and I don’t want this to hold me back, so I want to also remind myself that it is all a process and not all of my work has to be flawless.
